I notice a lot about [[Miles]]' behavior, and what external factors contribute to his behavior. I think that children (well at least Miles) can benefit a lot from structure, both in activities as well as in interactions with individuals. It seems quite common to me for adults to interact with children in an either aloof way (setting a boundary of default non-interaction) or of a default-on high-energy entertainment interaction. Typically when folks are "great with kids" there's actually a subtle distinction between collaboration behavior vs. entertainment behavior. I've noticed that Miles can develop strong bonds and friendships with adults. This can cause a positive feedback loops (adult feels good, interacts more), but it can also become a dopamine treadmill and go off the rails if the relationship is not "realistic". It pattern matches as a dopamine treadmill in the same way as eating chocolate, or ipad/youtube usage -- kids are both unable to regulate during the good thing, but also become less able to regulate outside of the experience. A realistic relationship means setting boundaries by sharing your own preferences and being your own individual. See [[When to lead, and when to follow]]. ![[When to lead, and when to follow]] Counter points: - My bias is towards quiet "educational" fine motor skills play, but highly active and silly play is probably just as valid. - Being unregulated is part of learning to be regulated?